Turning 40

A few weeks ago, I hit the big milestone of turning 40.  This year has been a big year of turning 40 for my friends, and I think I'm one of the last from our class to have this celebration.  I don't dread 40 like some people I know (not naming names), but I'm not really excited about it either.

I really liked this link about turning 40 from earlier this summer.  I think my favorite one is number 6: You have a close knit circle of amazing friends.  I really felt this at my birthday party.  So many of my friends know and love each other, and while they may not see each other as much as I see them, many of them were excited to see each other at the party.  So many of my friends from different circles have met my friends from various parts of my life, and it was super cool to see them happy together.  Not all of my closest friends were able to be there on Saturday night, and not all of my friends are in the same circle of friends, but I do feel truly blessed to have the amazing friendships that I do.  My friendships are what sustain me, get me through the daily drudgery, and have made this journey of motherhood so fun.  Thank you to all of you!

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books which is so apropos to the feelings I'm having about my friendships right now:
"What was important was the golden footprint, the magic footprint she had left on his life and no one could ever remove." Milan Kundera from the Unbearable Lightness of Being

On the night of my birthday, August 16th - same day as Madonna, I went to sushi with Sarah and Sarah before the party.  I discovered Yama Sushi earlier in August, and I think it's safe to say that it is my new favorite sushi spot.

Delicious! 

After dinner with two of my favorite friends, we made our way to Everyday Wine on Alberta.  We had reserved the wine bar for the night, and it was a highlight of my night (my year, probably) to look around and see so many people that I love in one place.

Kris and John

Kelly, Sarah, Sarah, and myself

I have known Kelly since 1986 (OMG) and Sarah and Sarah since 1992.
Kelly and I went to junior high, high school, AND college together - we even visited Willamette at the same time and both applied early decision, and while I don't see her nearly enough, she definitely qualifies as one of my oldest friends.
Sarah, Sarah, and I met at Willamette during our freshman year because we lived in the dorms together (go Matthews!).  We have stayed close since we graduated from college and are a great trio of friends.

Going directly left to right: Randy, Jonah (Kelly's husband), Jason (Nyree's soon-to-be husband), Nyree, and Kelly.  This is a dangerous group of people to get together...lots of fun.  The only ones who are missing are Kerri and Jamie.

Nyree, Sarah, me, Sarah, and Julie

This is the end of the night and the last ones standing.  

So lucky to have these strong and supportive women in my corner.  

me and Nyree

Nyree and I have known each other since freshman year of high school (I think) when she moved into my neighborhood.  We used to hang out after school making cookies and listening to New Kids on the Block.  As we have ventured through adulthood, Nyree and I have had some things in common we probably wouldn't have picked (moms with cancer, partners who weren't good choices - past not present, of course), but those have only made us closer and led us to understand each other in ways that other people don't.  When my mom was sick, she had a friend named Cheryl who would drive up from Eugene to hang out with her.  One day, I walked into my mom's room and found her and Cheryl lying next to each other in bed just talking.  I thought to myself, "Who is going to be my Cheryl when my time comes?" and the first person I thought of was Nyree.  (PS I can really say anything I want about Nyree here because I'm about 99.9% sure she doesn't read my blog.)

me and Julie

Julie is such a rockstar sister.  She spent the entire day throwing a bridal shower (at her house!) for one of her oldest friends, and then put together a birthday party for me that night.  Thanks to Julie and Sandy for pulling off a great night.  It was just what I wanted - many of my favorite people in the same place having a good (childfree!) night.

People ask how I feel about turning 40, and I honestly don't feel like it has affected me too much.  Sure, I wish I was in better shape at 40, but other than that, the only thing that bothers me about turning 40 is that now people are going to start getting sick.  Morbid and pessimistic, I know, but it's the truth.  My mom first got cancer at 42, and I didn't understand (at the age of 12) why people were freaking out.  Now I understand.  42 is damn young.

My goals for the next year are to survive my first year back in a school building, make better decisions for healthy living, spend quality time with Trey, and continue to nurture my friendships.  It gets harder and harder as life gets busier and kids get older, but my relationships are what matters the most to me.  Thanks to all of you who have had an impact on my first 40 years.

Some modified lyrics from one of my favorite country singers (My Next Thirty Years by Tim McGraw - wow he's dreamy):

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord, have mercy on my next thirty forty years

Theater Camp

I splurged and signed Trey up for a week long theater camp at Northwest Children's Theater.  This is where we saw Peter Pan over Christmas, and I thought it would be fun and something different.  My boy is such a performer and loves anything that has to do with being on stage.  Mindy signed Camille up too, so the kids got to experience it together.

We left the kids for 1.5 hours each day for a week and went on walks and got coffee.  One day Mindy had to go to a training (boo!), so I went to Powell's and browsed for an hour before walking back to the theater.

Trey and Camille loved to play outside on the stairs after camp. 

Performing! 

 

The kids put on a little performance on the last day of camp.  

Trey wanted to dress as Robin for his performance.   

Part one of his performance

Part two of his performance
Tony nominations are soon to follow, of course.

We don't think Camille liked theater camp as much as Trey... 

Frozen Robin 

To the rescue!

When asked about his favorite part of summer, Trey answers, "Theater camp!"  I guess my splurge was worth it.

Playing catch-up

It's a late summer afternoon and what I should be doing is cleaning the house and making a grocery list for our dinner party tomorrow, but instead I am drinking a G&T and blogging.  I'm trying to enjoy every last moment of summer, and this is my justification for not doing chores.  I think I'll be sorry later...

Mindy and I took the kids to Washington Park one morning where they had fun on the ginormous play structure and then played in the sand.  We had a picnic in the grass, and it was the perfect summer outing!

Our friends Adam and Jenny were in town from Colorado and came over for dinner one night.  The kids had fun in the pool, and the parents had fun catching up.  We really miss them.

Sarah and Trey 

Jenny, Adam, and Randy 

Sarah, Kennedy, and Trey 

It's funny how now Trey has his own friends and not just the children of my friends.  He has made some good friends at his daycare/preschool, and one day we met Miles and his mom and baby sister at the park.  Miles moved away AND is starting kindergarten, so the boys won't be seeing each other much, but hopefully we can still stay in touch.

Trey and Miles 

Trey getting wet...one of his favorite things to do 

Day four of soccer, and Trey was excited.  Shocking to me since it was only a week before that he puked after soccer class.  He enjoys running around and kicking the ball, but when I ask him if he wants to be on a soccer team, he says, "No thank you."  At the end of this soccer class, Trey and two boys got into a pile up during a scrimmage (and I use the word scrimmage loosely).  Trey ended up with a huge goose egg on his eye socket and a really pretty black eye.

Now that my coursework is done, I've been enjoying my last few daycare days.  One day I went into town and met a friend for lunch and then had some time to kill before my haircut.  I stopped at Migration Brewing and had a beer while I read my book.  Have I mentioned how much I love summer?

Trey and I met my dad at Enchanted Forest on a Friday.  I had been telling Kerry about it, and she said she hadn't been there since she was a kid.  I said, "Oh, don't worry.  It's exactly the same as when you were a kid."

This is the picture I sent her to prove that nothing has changed.   

Riding the train 

Waiting with Grandpa for Jack and the Beanstalk 

A free play AND it's Jack and the Beanstalk?

I had a very happy boy on my hands. 

Mesmerized by the mediocre performance 

Ice cream and a black eye 

Bumper boats! 

That night we went over to have dinner with our friends Curt and Rose.  Curt is an old friend who moved away eight years ago to Indiana with Rose.  Since that time we have all gotten married and had kids.  They just moved back to Portland and we are very excited.

Ana and Trey 

Rose, Curt, and Randy 

Curt...it really doesn't seem like eight years has passed.

We blame/credit Facebook for that. 

Saturday Randy and I went to see Foster the People at Edgefield.  I don't know their music that well, but I know I like all of their songs when they show up on my Pandora station.  Randy was not thrilled about the type of music, but he went along willingly.   It is always fun to have date night and it is always fun to see music outdoors, but we paid for six hours of babysitting to listen to one hour of music, so I was sort of disappointed.

Sunday we took Trey to the beach for the day.  The weather was gorgeous and it was pretty warm, but it was windy as hell.  By the end of our time on the beach, I had sand in my teeth and on my scalp.  Trey dug in the sand for about an hour and a half before he was ready to go.  We ate some lunch and headed back.  Another short but sweet trip to the coast...

Guess what we are doing? 

I've always been one to approach a new situation with reading about it.  I read my way through my mom's illness (Losing a Parent was the best one I found), I read my way through pregnancy, and I read my way through Trey's infancy.  I have been collecting some books on raising children and have some favorites on my bookshelf.  It should be no surprise that when I am faced with my first friend with cancer that I go straight to the library.  (Actually, a random aside: one thing I love about Facebook and Twitter is being able to connect directly with authors.  Will Schwalbe wrote the End of Your Life Book Club which I really liked and I remembered that he referenced a book about etiquette when a person is sick, so I sent him a message on Facebook and he got back to me immediately.  I love that.)  Anyway, I have a friend who is sick, and I have felt at a loss for what to do and say.  Going through it with my mom gives me some background knowledge, but I'm finding it's not the same when you're trying to support someone who is not as close to you.   Will Schwalbe posted this article on his Facebook page which I found helpful, and I am getting some good tips from this book.   While I feel helpless and pretty in the dark with this particular situation, I have gained some insight into some grudges that I have held since my mom was sick because now I know that sometimes you just don't know what to do or say, and sometimes people deal with that by not doing or saying anything.  That's not really how I want to support people during these types of things, but at least I have some understanding into what some people may have felt back when my mom was sick.  Does that make sense?

Only way to read this book is with a drink.

I read this ginormous book (almost 780 pages) this summer and was sort of disappointed.  I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either.  Luckily, a silver lining of Trey's stomach flu was that I got a lot of this book read in just a few days.  I'm glad for that because otherwise this book would have taken me weeks.  I found myself uncomfortable during many parts of the book, and I didn't like hardly any of the characters.  It won the Pulitzer and I had some good conversations with friends while reading it, but I'm not sure I'd recommend it.  Mixed feelings.  

Jojo Moyes's newest came out this summer, and I was really looking forward to it.  I read it quickly and it was okay, but I didn't love it as much as Me Before You or the Girl You Left Behind.

I see this on a lot of my book lists, so I thought I'd give it a try.  I didn't love this either, but I also couldn't put it down finding myself awake at 1am still reading.  Luckily, it was a fast read.  The librarian told me that Eleanor and Park is much much better, and I have that in my stack to read soon.

This is what I started a few nights ago.  The first night I dove into it, it was after midnight and I had just finished celebrating my birthday AND I was wearing a headlamp in the dark.  Needless to say, I had to reread the 2.5 pages that I got through again last night.  Jacqueline Winspear writes the Maisie Dobbs series which I love, and this is her first stand alone novel.  So far, I have not really been able to get into it and I blame that on her style of writing which is different than the Maisie Dobbs books.  Sometimes it takes me a few nights to get into a book, so I'm hoping tonight is the night I get over that hump.

Any suggestions for me to add to my list?  Please let me know!