"Trey, get that marker out of your ear and please do not color your eyelid yellow."

So my sister is headed back to work tomorrow after a 16 week maternity leave.  She's going through many of the same emotions and feelings that I went through when I had to go back to work and that many of my friends said they went through too.  Even though she's about to experience what so many have gone through before, it doesn't make it any easier for her.  It makes me think, however, about when I returned to work and why it sucked so badly.  For me it had to do with leaving Trey for nine hours a day (first in Randy's care and then at daycare) and not being with him all of the time.  I've gotten over that, to some extent, although it still hurts sometimes.  I felt that ache last Thursday when I drove to daycare to pick him up.  You know, that ache where you just can't wait to get your hands on your child and love them and squeeze them and cover their face with kisses?  (This ache quickly dissipated after we got home and he proceeded to whine and cry for the remainder of the evening.)  It also had to do with the loss of control.  I remember quite vividly the nap anxiety I had that Randy wouldn't be able to get Trey down for a nap or that Randy wouldn't be able to soothe Trey as easily (and as well, if we're being honest) as I could.  Even now, I don't know what Trey does all day, what he eats, what he "says", what cute things he does...I don't know how his daycare provider responds to him, soothes him, disciplines him, etc.  But I think in the end this will make Trey a more well rounded child and more able to interact with and respond to others when he is not in my care.  Because at the end of the day isn't what we want a child who can be successful independent of their parents?

This past week was particularly trying for me as a working mom.  Randy's new job has a new schedule and he doesn't get home until 6:30pm.  This means the post-daycare evening routine is all on me and I had no idea how much I relied on Randy in the evenings to participate in this thing we call parenting.  Coming straight home from work and having to be "on" for another three hours (and then make dinner after that) is exhausting.  What I got out of this week (besides droopy eyelids, extra fatigue, and a dose of crankiness) is a reminder of how lucky I am to have so many girlfriends who provide advice and support when needed.  I love being able to reach out for help and get a variety of suggestions but consistency in support.

A friend posted this on her Facebook page last week and the timing was perfect.  I know that so many moms have similar busy schedules, messy houses, guilt complexes about the things they are doing wrong (my big one right now has to do with Elmo), etc., but it is nice to read about it and be able to relate.  At least I find value in it.

Enough of that.

It's been a fabulous three day weekend and let me tell you why:
- two out of three days with 2-2.5 hour naps in the crib
- TONS of giggles and laughter with my boy who just has the silliest personality
- continued "talking"...Trey "talks" constantly and I love the cadence of his speech that makes him sound like he's really talking.  Also, he's up to 10 words in just the past few weeks which has been so much fun.  Unfortunately, he has discovered "no" which he likes to use on a frequent basis.
- celebrating Randy's birthday on Saturday out at Bridgeport with friends and family
- going out for drinks and dessert with Randy at Breakside while my dad and Sandy stayed home with Trey
- celebrating Tim's (brother in law) birthday today at Julie and Tim's house with Tim's family and watching Trey explore and wander around like never before
- watching and listening to Trey with my Dad on Sunday morning

- taking a mini-nap this morning while Randy and Trey played together
- going to OMSI on Saturday morning with Randy and Trey.  Here are some pictures:

 Watching Trey walk around the Science Playground and explore as he never has before was awesome.

"Look, Mom, FRUIT!" 

The boys resting after a particularly busy time at the water table. 

Helping Randy to make a Bronco pattern.  Clearly, it wasn't a good luck token. 

Trey is really in to magnets right now.  I love watching him figure out how they work.

Well, it's 7:57pm and almost time for trash tv to start...better go get comfy so I don't miss a dramatic moment.  It's a four day work week coming up and that makes Mama very happy!  

Hallelujah! The boy can walk!

After 18 long months, Trey has finally decided to walk on his own!  He has been walking holding our finger for two months and cruises around the perimeter of any room he is in.  We have been convinced for the past several weeks that his lack of independent walking skills was mostly a confidence issue.  He took a few steps at Disneyland a few weeks ago, but since he hasn't done it since then, I thought I was maybe hallucinating.  Well, on Friday Randy called me at work to say that Trey was walking on his own.  He has been doing it more and more, and WE ARE THRILLED!!!

The other exciting news in the world of developmental milestones is that Trey has had a burst in receptive language.  He is pointing to a variety of body parts and pointing to a ton of pictures in his books.  Sometimes I even ask him one that I think he won't know and he knows it.  It's amazing!  He also has started to use a few more words (hello, hi, bye bye, mommy, dada, and a variation of Grandpa).  He has been slow to meet his milestones which is driving his special educator-neurotic-worried mother a little nutso.  I am so happy that he is finally starting to show us what he knows!  SO HAPPY!

After we returned from California, we did Christmas with my family at my sister's new house.  Trey was so comfortable so quickly with my dad and that was really awesome. Usually it takes him a while to warm up, but he seems to have turned a corner with that too.

Trey loves to put the phone up to his ear and say, "Allo?"  

Melts my heart every time. 

Trey showing Grandpa his favorite chickens. 

Waiting for dinner 

Checking out his new blocks from Grandpa and Sanny 

Trey is becoming more and more interested in Grady...

especially when Grady is on my lap.

Two treasures - Trey and Grady 

Opening his present from Mom and Dad 

"Look!  A trike!" 

Practicing riding on his new tricycle

For the last few years we have had a Christmas Eve brunch and it has been one of my favorite traditions of the holidays.  This year we were in California for Christmas Eve, so we decided to move it to New Years Eve.  So much fun to have friends and family together in our house.  The party seems to grow by one or two each year (this year it was Grady) and also the kids are getting bigger and bigger.  I think we need a bigger house!

Julie, Grady and Tim 

The kids having brunch - Jackson, Zander, Trey, Camille, and Kai.  

Not sure where Declan was. 

Sarah, Kai, and Zander 

Trey telling Camille something very important 

Camille reminding Trey that they were supposed to look at the camera 

Best shot I could get of two wiggly 18 month olds 

Julie and Grady, almost 3 months old 

Tango has become one of Trey's new toys.  

Today he even tried to use Tango as a couch.   

Tango is such a good sport.

One of Trey's new favorite things is the silverware drawer.  

It could entertain him for hours.  Okay, minutes.  But still. 

Trey has discovered his love for markers.  

Usually, I keep a closer eye on him, 

but this morning he used his face instead of the paper.  

The photo missed all of the marker all around his neck.  Oops.  

Last week I went to see Storm Large at Powell's with Kellie.  Storm Large is such an amazing artist and it was really fun to see her when she wasn't on stage singing.   She is vivacious, hilarious, beautiful, and crude.  If you haven't seen her 8 miles wide video, click here.  But beware that if you are easily offended, don't watch it.  And don't blame me if you start singing this song as you're doing chores or going on a walk.  It's quite catchy.

In other news, Randy has started a new job at the primate center at OHSU.  He is working in a new lab with a new scientist doing research on Huntington's Disease.  He is excited about this new job and is looking forward to his role in this important research.  My only complaint is that his hours are different, he doesn't get home until 6:30pm (basically right before bedtime), and it throws off my whole evening routine.  Regardless, I am happy for him and can't wait to hear how his cognitive testing of the monkeys compares to my cognitive testing of kids.

California Christmas!

I've never spent Christmas in the sunshine before (except for maybe one year in Hawaii, but I can't remember if that was on Christmas or just Christmas break), and I have to say it didn't really feel like Christmas.  However, I was willing to overlook the non-Christmasy feeling because it was 75 degrees, sunny, and fabulous!

Randy, Trey, and I went to Riverside, CA for what I like to call Clark Invasion 2011.  We spent a week with Randy's parents, his brother, his sister-in-law, and their three children.  All in one house.  For a week.  Luckily, everyone gets along well, and, minus the whiny teething baby, we were all in a good mood.  Amazing!

Here are some pictures from before we left:

Trey has a thing for shoes right now.  He loves to stand in other people's shoes.  The other day he tried to stand in his own shoes (that were not on) which was really cute but not very easy for him to do.

Randy and I took Trey to OMSI specifically so he could play at the water table.  We were prepared this time and took a complete change of clothes.  Our boy is such a water baby.  He could be in water all day long.

This is from Kris's holiday party.  This expression is so classic of Trey.  I love it!

(You might have to click on it to see it close up.)

A holiday tradition from the past few years is to go to Horsebrass and then walk through Peacock Lane.  We modified our tradition a little (darn kiddos) and went to Moon and Sixpence with Julie and Tim.  Our plan was to meet for drinks at 4:30pm, go to Peacock Lane at 5:30pm, and come back to our house for delicious vegetable soup and crusty bread afterwards....hmmmm.....

Note to self for next year: Peacock Lane doesn't start until 6:00pm.  Damn.

There were a few houses that had their lights on early.  

Still, quite the disappointment. 

We left for Clark Invasion 2011 on Monday.  Trey was a trooper on the airplane and only cried a little. Grandma Carmen and Grandpa Doug were plenty happy to see us, but the real person they wanted to see was Trey.  Bob, Randy's brother, and his family arrived later in the day.  We all flew out on Christmas Day (Carmen was right - the airport is practically abandoned on Christmas Day).  We had a good time with the family, but I think my favorite moments were watching Trey with his grandparents.

Grandpa playing with Trey in front of the stockings

Trey was fascinated with the bin of oranges in the pantry.  

Doug makes freshly squeezed oj every morning and it is delish!

Doug and Carmen's gift to the family was a day at Disneyland!  We had a great time and the weather was perfect. 

In front of the Matterhorn.  

This may have been the only time for the entire day that Trey wore his new Disneyland sunhat...ironic that it is in the shade.

Trey's first ride - Alice in Wonderland

We stood in line for 45 minutes for this ride and it was totally lame.  

They need to have some sort of review posted at the beginning of the line with the degree of lameness.  Would save everyone a lot of time.

Trey's second ride - Winnie the Pooh's Adventure.  

You can tell from his expression what he thought of this one.  

Also quite lame, but better than the first.

Trey's third ride - Jungle Cruise

This one was the best because he could see all of the animals off the side of the boat.  Love his expression in this picture!

Checking out the primates

When people ask me how Trey liked Disneyland, I tell them that he seemed to enjoy it, but he was just as interested in the bolts on the garbage can and the ducks, which is looking at here, as he was the rides and other entertainment.

Trey's fourth ride - the carousel

Trey freaked when I tried to get him on a horse with me, so we stood next to Grandma Carmen for the ride...well, until the carousel operator stopped the ride to make me move and stand between the butts of the horses.  Seriously?  What difference does it make to stand between the heads or the butts?

Trey with Grandpa Doug

Don't mind the drool - poor boy had FOUR teeth coming in while we were in California. FOUR.  AT ONCE.  It led to some painful nights (for all three of us), some early mornings (for all three of us), and A LOT of drugs (just for Trey).

Waiting in line for Trey's fifth and final ride - Pirates of the Caribbean.  

My favorite!

It's amazing how much of it is the same from when I was a kid...

well, except for Johnny Depp.

So if you use Facebook, you may have already seen this picture.  It's worth posting again...

At the end of the day in Disneyland, Trey and I were both pretty much done.  Randy, Carmen and Doug were going on the Matterhorn, so I tried to feed Trey dinner (total failure) and walk around before meeting them at the ginormous Christmas tree.  One thing we didn't factor into it was the Christmas parade.  Trey and I had trouble getting through the crowds, he was getting pretty fussy, and my back was hurting.  I saw a corner of a store that looked pretty bare, so I took Trey in and let him "walk" around pulling several stuffed Mickeys off the shelves while I sat and rested on the floor.  I decided that this would be a good self-portrait, so I called Trey over.  What did he do?  Four magical steps from my boy!  This was so exciting to me because he has yet to walk independently and it is driving us crazy.  Needless to say, the timing was perfect (just what I needed), but now I think I may have been hallucinating because he has yet to do it since then.  

Trey and his two loves - shoes and stairs

Randy and Trey playing badminton in the backyard

Clark family fun 

Amy was a big help in opening Trey's stocking with him

Heaven

Between the iPhones, iPads, laptops, and other smartphones, 

we were a typical American family.

Randy and Trey swimming 

Lunch with the Snyders, our travel companions in Beijing, at Dana Point

Trey in Amy's shoes

Caleb, Trey and Amy

Brothers hanging around the grill on Christmas Eve

This may be the only shot we got of the three of us the entire week. 

Classic Trey 

Grandma and Trey 

Where's Trey's nose? 

Where's Trey's ear? 

Where's Trey's mouth? 

Clark Cousins: Caleb (9), Amy (6), Sara (15) and Trey (1)

A pretty typical view of our afternoons

What a great Christmas at the Clark house!  It was so special to be together and share these memories.  We aren't sure when we will all be together again, but it might not be until Doug and Carmen retire to Port Townsend.

And, last but not least, a picture at the airport bar where I convinced the guy to serve us even though they were closed.  Hey, a week with the family is great, but we were in dire need of a Christmas cocktail.  Bartender: "Do you want me to make that a double?"  Me: "Yes, please."